Just Recently

Whatup! Whatup!

Okay, I'll admit. I'm finding lesser things to say about what's going with me. I dunno why, but I'm sorta losing the need to blog. I'm not outgrowing it, but I want to maintain. I promised to my self before that I want to constantly and consistently update my blog with the latest haps in my life. So far, it's been hard to do that.

I guess I've bottling up these thoughts to the point that I can't figure out what to say or if I should type it. I'm not the kinda guy who just posts for the sake of posting. I want to make meaningful posts, something that really just flows outta my brain and from the top of my head. I used to be that guy, but somehow he's getting lost in the all the mess.

I've been hitting a few ups and downs lately. My life is turning towards the good side and bad side a lot. I have the good at one point and it suddenly turn 180 to the bad in an instant. Handling this has become gargantuan tasks, but hell, I've found my way around it.

One question I'd like to ask myself is "Why?" There are times I can feel ticked out easily or I suddenly feel happy or sad. Sometimes, I go blank/into the oblivion. My mind wanders and my emotions go nowhere. I'm at a lost right now. Is it a 20-Something Life Crisis? That's new. I just coined a term for the crap I'm feeling right now.

I dunno what's going on with me. I'm mixed up and caught up. In what? I'm still trying to figure out. This blog entry is getting a little weird because I'm only typing in what I feel. I need to reflect, I need to think on my own. I want to ponder, reminisce, regret and other stuff where you can remember all the stuff you've gone through.

This post is starting to feel like Inception (2010). You're trying to figure out one part of this entry, the next thing you know, you're in another part of this rant because of the lack of cohesiveness in the entry. Who cares? I just wanna let out a little. These little rambles just let me go and go and go and go, 'till I can't think of anything else to say. I'm a little weird right that, but maybe just for now.

There are times that I get massive headaches just thinking about the "drama" in my life. Sometimes I feel like running down to the nearest Basketball Court and play 'till I drop dead. It's been my routine for as long as I can remember. Somehow, at least I don't drink the problems anyway. Alcohol isn't going to solve anything, EVER. I've learned the hard way, meaning I've had to get my "ass" kicked and be yelled at to realize that.

It's almost 3AM and I'm shooting mad. What that means, come up to me and ask me. I'll tell you what it means. I'm hecka whacked out right now and I need a release. From what? Beats me. I just want one. Gah. Surges, surges, surges. I can't understand what I'm typing/I've typed. I'm just inputting. Random thoughts? Yes. Rants? Maybe. A personal attack on someone? No. That is what I know for sure.

Well, 'till the next time. Maybe my next post should show my sanity. Not be this vague.


-BeatBoxMachine